When Things Didn't Go As Planned

We all have been there! 
Sometimes things didn't go as planned, and it's called LIFE.
We may feel disappointed 😞,  frustrated 🥺, or maybe a little angry, very very angry 😡...

Well, I have been dealing with all of those emotions this week. As I was going to fly to Brisbane last Weds 25th March and then to Singapore to go back to Burma/Myanmar, but all my flights were cancelled almost last minute due to COVID-19 Pandemic. New Zealand is at alert level 4 and in the whole country is in lockdown except for some essential services. Although, we all have jobs to do, trips to make, business to run, but for now I am staying home just like everybody. The money for flights is kept as credit and use it later until March next years, so the trip is postponed. It might happen the end of this year and it might not...  

As a stubborn person that I am (in the right way hahaha), I was still determined to go as long as the flights were still operating as usual. My family said it would be risky for them and for me because if I got infected, I could possibly pass the virus to them too. I thought about it, but I was not going to listen, and I feel, hmm somewhat guilty about the decision now. I left home 12 years ago, and when I finally decided to go home the universe is saying 'Not Yet, Not Now'. 

There go my plans for this year! Everything I had strategically planned is now staring at me like 'Girl! What now?'. I honestly do not have a clear answer for now, but I am trying my best to make peace within myself and be open-minded. Everything is actually not that bad! Apart from binging on Netflix, baking my favourite food, I also took time to read the book I've meant to:  'Through Kachin Lenses - A collection of writings on Kachin Life and Thought'. Would highly recommend it if you are a Kachin like me and want to learn more about our ancestors and our cultures etc. I also finally have time to practice programming again, so it's been great! QUARANTINE? So far, so good 😃👍. 

At least, this whole incident is going to be a memorable one when I look back in a couple of years. Also, this incident reminded me of the time when I was in Malaysia. 

Story Time: I was a refugee living in Malaysia and waiting for my time to go to New Zealand under the family reunification category. I was an under-age without any legal guardians and legal documents. Thousands of Burmese refugees and other refugees from different countries were struggling while waiting for their turn to get interviews to get approval from UNHCR (United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees) and host countries such as Australia, New Zealand, United States. I was so eager to New Zealand just like everyone. I even have dreams about it sometimes. It was a lengthy and tiring process, though I was told that for underage kid cases are much faster leaving the country within 12 months. I do not know why it took me more than 3 years for me till this day.  

I spent more than 2 years of teenage life living and working as an illegal immigrant. The danger that comes with trying to survive is pretty surreal. I had been robbed, sexually assaulted and threatened to be deported by two policemen. You got the picture here!! It was not ideal, so all I wanted to flee as quickly as possible. Despite all these horrible stuff, the choice was 'Fight or Flight'. I am a believer, so I prayed to God for strength to fight for it because I know it is gonna be worth it at the end, not only for me but also for my family and my people back home. I went to interviews after interviews to beg UNHCR to speed up the process for me, and I almost give up. I thought about going back to my family in Burma instead of suffering too much in a strange foreign land.

After 3 years I was finally going to New Zealand at the beginning of 2012 and boy I was jumping with joy. All those years of tears, waiting for that moment was totally worth it. All those struggles and feeling of helplessness mould me and make me become a strong, independent woman that I am today. I have the most valuable life lessons during those 3 years, and they were not all rainbows and unicorns, but I am grateful and accept them as part of life. 

Sorry for a long post, but Moral of the story: When things didn't go as planned in life, do not give up! Keep fighting! And most importantly be patient! My Grandma, whom I was living with at the time, told me 'Patient is the best medicine'. Being stressed out can cause harm to your health so hey it sucks, but you just gotta stay strong and be kind to yourself. If you are a believer like me, then, I encourage you to believe in God's timing and pray for strength to fight for whatever that is in your life.  

"Patience is the Best Medicine"
- John Florio & (my grandma)

💖💖💖Kachin Translation 💖💖💖

Anhte yawng lai ga na sai!
Kalang lang tinang myit da ai hku n-byin ai. Dai gaw shingyim APRAT re
Dai ten myitdaw chye ai, myit n-gut ai the past sindawng ai myit ni pru chye ai...

Ndai bat tup kaw dai ni yawng hpe hkam sha yaw nga taw ai. Ndai bat masum ya shani Brisbane de ngut na Singapore de rawt na myenmung wa na hkrun lam yawng dawm kau ra ai. Ndai corona a-na a majaw gara ma nlu hkawm mat sai. New Zealand mungdan ya ten dai corona ana kanu a majaw bat 4 tup pat nga ai. Ti na bungli nga ai rai tim, hkrun lam hkawn ra ai lam mi nga tim, Hpaga yumnga galaw shakut ra ai rai tim yawng pat taw da na nta kata kaw rawng ra mat ai. Myenmung hkrunlam galoi she bai sa na yaw nchye shi ai. Daining htum nrai yang hpang shaning hkan rai wa na re.

Baw ja ai wa re ai majaw hpa myi byin-tim sa na, n-bungli naw pyen taw yang gaw sa na ngu myit daw dan da ai re. Nta kaw na ni gaw nwa shi yang kaja na nhten hpa na i nga yang ngai na matu mung ana kap na tsang ra ai, nta masha ni hpe mung wa shakap ya na tsang ra ai. Nta masha ni tsun ai ga hpe ya bai myit yu yang ngai hkrai ngai na daw dawn ai lam hpe mara bai mu wa. Nta nwa ai 12 ning jan sai majaw wa na she ngu yang mungkan ga gaw ngai hpe 'hkum rai shi da, aten ndu shi ai da'.

Dai yu u gara hku byin ma sai ma! Dai ning tup ngai jahkrat da ai masing ni yawng jashuk mat sai. Ya hpa bai galaw na nchye shi ai rai tim nga mai lata galaw ai masing ni gaw nga ai. Ya aten gaw ra ai lam hpe galaw let mahtai bai tai la na re. Ndai ten hpe Netflix yu na, laika buk hti na, computer lamang ka lajang ai lam galaw re na aten hpe shalai taw nga ai. Ana n bra n kap hkra kaga san di tawn ai ten hpe kaja dik ai hku a kyu jashawn jai lang nga ai.

Hpa mi nga tim ndai aten hpe du na wa aten hta bai nhtang yu ai shaloi malap kau nmai hkra matsing taw nga na re. Ngut na, Ndai zawn byin ai lam ngai Malaysia kaw nga ai aten hpe ma bai myit dum wa nga ai.

Shingdum maumwi : Moi ngai Malaysia kaw New Zealand de refugee hku nna masum ning jan nga lai wa sai. A sak nhpring shi ai sha kanu kawa ma n-nga re ai shara hta tara nshang ai nga lai wa sai. Asak 13 hte 14 lapran bungli ni mung galaw let lai di wa sai. Yak hkak ai lawm gaw baw sum hpa hpe mung lai wa sai. Dumya ya katut ai, ngang gindai maja masawp masin di ya ai lam, pyada balik ni e jahkrit shama ai lam zawn re ni hpe lai wa sai.

Jam jau ai lam kaw na lawt mayu ai majaw UNHCR de kade sa tsun tim hpa ntai. Asak nhpring ai ni a case lawan ai nna shata 12 laman hta lu sa na re da nga tsun ma tim ngai na case daini du hkra hpa majaw dai ram na ai hpe ngai nchye ga ai. Malaysia kaw myenmung na refugee hte kaga mungdan na refugee ni dai zawn sha la taw ai ni grai law ma ai. La ai lam wa she jin ai zawn nga mat ai. Myit daw ai majaw nta jang wa mat na hku mung myit yu sai. Tinang mungdan nre ai kata kaw dai raim tim jamjau taw ai hpe ndang hkam wa na ram hkam sha ai. Rai tim, makam masham nga ai majaw Karai kaw kyu hpyi n-gun la let matut na bai hkawm sa ai.

Masun ning jan ai shaloi, UNHCR ni New Zealand de ngai hpe sa na matu galaw hpang wa sai. Ngai nau kabu ai majaw she gumhtawn hkra rai pyaw ai. Shaning shachyaw na la ai lam ni, jam jau ai lam ni yawng wa ging dan ai zawn nga hkam sha ai. Dai aten ni ngai hpe myit magrau grang ai myit ja ai shayi langai mi byin rai shangun lu ai majaw byin mat sai ni yawng hpe sak hkrung lam a sharin la hp hku na hkap la kau sai.

Ndai ngai na maumwi na sharin la hpa gaw hpa re ta nga yang, moi Malaysia kaw arau nga lai wa ai ngai na adwi tsun yang 'Myit galu ai gaw tsi kaba re' nga hpe sharin la lu ai hku re. Tinang myit mpyaw, myit daw taw yang tinang a hkam kaja lam hta hkra chye nga ai. Nang ngai zawn makam masham nga ai wa rai yang, Karai kaw akyu hpyi n-gun la let matut shakut let hkawm u. Karai a aten du jang nang hte gying dan ai shaman chyeju hkam la na re.