My Mother

My Beautiful Mother - Nhkum Hkawn Shawng

Mothers' Day, Fathers' Days and my own Birthdays are three special days that I try to avoid every year. Frankly, I'm very sentimental about those things and always make me tear up easily. On those special days, we celebrate our mother and father who gave us life, raised us and loved us unconditionally. However, being away from home and my parents for too long only made me resent to celebrate those days. It's not because I stopped loving my parents, those days just make me uncontrollably emotional because I miss them terribly.

Growing up, I loved those special days because I got to learn new songs at my Sunday school to sing for my mom and my dad. I still remember some of the songs I learned in my Kindy school. I am a big girl now so as you know 'Big Girls Don't Cry' .... but Fergie! I still cry when I saw friends posting their mom's and dad's pictures on Facebook. It's weird because my parents are still alive, but the fact that I am not with them for over a decade makes me feel like an orphan sometimes.

Hopefully, my dad does not read this blog-post so I am going to admit: I miss mom more than him oops. It is mostly because my dad was absent a lot of the times due to his work so my mom looked after four of my siblings. I do not blame him or resent him because I know he loves me a lot and I am his favourite child ha-ha. Since my father worked a lot, my mom stepped up to become the head of the family and let me tell you she looked like she did it without a sweat. 

My mother's name is Nhkum Hkawn Shawng and she is a former nurse in the front line from KIA (Kachin Independent Army) back in 1987?? She was only 17 years old when she join the army against her will. She retired after she got married to my dad to raise a family. She is feisty and she disciplines us when we do not listen as if we were in a boot camp (not abusive way). I was a naughty kid, so I got good hidings whenever I got caught doing naughty acts like stealing. That definitely set things straight for sure! I stopped stealing around the age of eleven.

Beautiful and gracious mother

I love seeing my mom's passion when she recounts interesting stories about her experiences as a front line nurse with super gory details. She also tells us the funny side of being a nurse in a stressful war zone and the whole table would laugh and have a good time. Although we have already heard the story gazillion times, she still manages to engage the audience with all attention to her story. Basically, She is the life and soul of the party. 

My family is neither rich nor poor. That's because my mom worked so hard to make sure her kids are well fed and clothed. Although she had no college degree like my dad, she is smarter than him. We usually describe dad as being book smart, but mom as street smart. When dad was a way for his work, she took up many labouredly intense jobs without any hesitation in order to put food on the table and make the ends meet. As long as I can remember she never refuses to help or give what she has in her pocket. Our neighbours always praise her for the strength, bravery and generosity. 

As a former nurse, my mom becomes the family nurse. Which means when we got sick we did not go to the doctors unless she thinks we need to. She uses traditional medicine and old remedies and practices when we catch a fever or a cold. One of the most terrifying treatment is called Gua Sha, a traditional Chinese medicine, also known as scraping, spooning or coining. She would hold us down after applying some oil or Tiger Balm and scrapped our body parts with a tin can. It hurts a lot and we would cry and begged her to stop or even run away like Forrest Gump when we see a tin and a cup of oil because we know what is coming!!  Although it triggers PTSD, my mom did what she had to do so I do not blame her. In the end, I am still alive because of her. 

Some people still prefer to have Gua Sha at home than going to the doctors even in NZ

Apart from having all those admirable qualities, she is also an excellent cook! I was a picky eater a bit like my dad but we love everything that she cooks for us. At first, I thought every mom knows how to cook or loves to cook, but I learned that some of my friend's mom never cook because they were busy or have no interest being in the kitchen. I just feel grateful I have a mother who makes yummy dishes for us tirelessly and lovingly. Either cooking at home or dining out, one of my fondest memories growing up was our family bonding over food. I am looking forward to indulging in my mom's home cook meals again and this time, I am going to cook for her too. 

I literally could write a book about my mom and continue on about how great of a woman/mother she deserves the best in the world. I could not imagine where my life would be without my mother. She made a huge impact on my life and my siblings. I could never repay what she has done for us. She is the best gift in my life and 'an angel in the shape of my mum' like Ed Sheeran sang. Although I have been living with the pain of separation from her, I am trying my best to stand tall and stay strong as she has shown me.

I also would like to acknowledge and thank every mother figure in my life who loves me as their own child by feeding me, giving me big hugs, being there when I needed a shoulder to cry. See! That's why moms are the best! PERIOD. Thank God for these amazing selfless women in our lives. They deserve the best in life. Please do not forget to call your mom (not only on Mothers' Day), thank your mom and let her know you love her. HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY

P.S - Mother or Mom in Kachin is Kanu or Anu. What do you call mom in your language? 

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