25 Lessons from The Last 25 Years

Kia Ora, Kaja I, Mingalar bar, and hello to you!

Once again, It's great to have you here. Hope you have been well :) 

It's been way too long since my last blog in November 2020. I meant to sit down and write this post long ago, but I simply did not feel inspired enough to do so. However, here I am;  sharing the wisdom and knowledge, I have acquired in the last 25 years with you. It's hard to believe I've lived a quarter of a century and although it doesn't seem very long I have lived and witness major events in history, such as the Covid 19 pandemic, super blood moon, Military coup in Myanmar and many other events I can't think of right now. I am grateful to be alive and hope I get wiser as I get older.

I think some of you might nod your head at some of the points I am going to make, and also perfectly acceptable if you disagree with some because they are merely my experience and my point of view. So here we go…

1. 💝Being kind is better than being right.

I learned this from a book called Wonder by RK Palacio. (AHH! This book has so many great quotes! ). You might argue that this statement would not apply to every situation, but hey, I think it is about expressing humility towards one another.  

2. It is my responsibility to become a better self.🙋

I left my parents when I was 12. They sent me to a Christian boarding school. At the age of 13, I left my country and everyone behind. My parents taught me everything they could, but I was too young to figure out what comes next at the age of 13. I read books, especially self-help books, to guide me and help me when I feel lost. 

3. 📚Being confident/leadership is a skill.

Like confidence in leadership, a skill can be learned and acquired through experiences. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and practice those skills.

4. Be your own best friend. 👯

As an ambivert, I love spending time with people (people with good vibes), but I also LOVE being alone. I like to do a lot of things by myself, for instance, travelling, going out for dinner or a movie. If I am on good terms with myself, I am much more pleasant to be around others too. 

5. 🤔Don’t be afraid to explore your options.

If your first choice/plan/studies don’t work for you, do not afraid to change it. I thought I was going to be an accountant, but ended up doing Management and IT. Your first choice might not always be your last choice.

6. Be patient with yourself and trust the process. 🧘‍♀️

I had all these goals and visions of my future self, but every time I embarrass myself at a social event, I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. Have some self-compassion and allow yourself to make mistakes, learn from them and move forward. Slowly but surely, you’ll become the best version of yourself that you always wanted to be.

7. ✈️Explore new places(locally because we are in a pandemic).

Personally, I have not been to many countries, but I lived in 3 countries and been to 4. Even though that’s not a lot, there’s something about being in a different place that teaches you about ways of life and the power of human connection that makes you feel alive. Also, Trevor Noah said, “Travelling is the Anecdotes to Ignorance”. 

8. When you are overwhelmed, just look up to the sky. 🌌

This is one of my favourite strategies to calm myself down when I get overwhelmed with life problems. My thought process when I look up —> The sky is endless, and wow, there are billions of other people on this planet who also have different problems, and some of them might have bigger problems than mine. Not saying your problem isn’t valid, but hey, it gives me a different perspective and strengthens me to push through in hard times.

9. 💰Learn about money and investment.

I really did not know much about budgeting, saving and investment etc., until I was at Uni. I am still on a learning journey but when you start earning money, make sure you look after your money, and it will look after you. If I’m not wrong, I think the lesson is from “Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki”. 

10. Look good to feel good. 💄

You know you feel good inside; you look good outside? Some days, I look like a gremlin and don't feel the best but it only takes one good lipstick, a badass outfit to make me look fierce both inside and out. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about? 

11. ☺️Do not take everything too personally.

I learned this from my boss when I was working as a waitress. Sometimes, I get difficult customers who ruin my mood and the rest of the shift until he tapped me on my shoulder and told me that people’s behaviour towards you shows them who they are, but I should maintain my peace inside and not let rude people ruin your day. Basically, don’t give others the power to control your emotions other than yourself. 

12. A change of environment can sometimes change your life. 📦

I recently moved to Auckland in January after living in Wellington for 9 years. For a while, I thought I have become a very unhappy and negative person, but I realised that I have actually outgrown my life in Welly. I was grateful I could call it home for the last 9 years, but relocating to Auckland makes me somewhat alive (people drive like they have extra lives here). 

13. 💛Do not take your good people/friends in life for granted.

My definition of good friends is people who are always there for you no matter what. They support you and respect your decisions and therefore Make sure they know you appreciate them and even give/do something nice in return once in a while. 

14. Learn to embrace the SUCK. 💪

In another word, lean into the pain and get comfortable being very uncomfortable. Deal with your feeling of discontent instead of denying and avoiding it. This will develop your resilience and expand your comfort zone. 

15. 💭You do not have to tell people about your dreams. 

If you have a strong desire to become something or someone, you don’t have to tell people about it. Keep it to yourself and work hard until you achieve them. 

16. Your parents don’t know everything. 🥺

Sometimes you go to them for advice and guidance, but they don’t have all the answers. They are just human like us, so they can’t possibly know everything. More often than not you got to figure things out on your own. 

17. 👩‍🏫Find a great mentor.

Having a mentor totally changed my life. There are so many types of mentor, for instance, Aspirational Mentor, Career Mentor and life mentor etc. Depends on where you are in life, find a mentor who will help you grow and accelerate your success. 

18. Exercise is good for your body and mind. 🏋️‍♀️

Exercising is as important as eating healthy food. A small session of yoga or quick cardio makes a huge difference to your body, mind and helps balance hormones. That's a fact :D 

19. Find a hobby you love. 🎨 

It doesn’t have to be expensive like sky diving, ice skating or sailing. My current hobbies is record collecting. I usually get cheap records from local op shops. Shopping for used records and finding a good record can easily make my day. 

20. 🧑‍🤝‍🧑Having a community is important.

It gives you a sense of belonging. Join a club, a sports team or a social group and find your tribe.

22. Asking for help is a sign of Strength. ✨

I am so used to being alone and being independent, but I still need people in my life to help me get through life sometimes. Asking for help is a sign of humanness, not a sign of weakness. 

22. 💁You don’t owe man anything, PERIOD. 

23. Having a sense of humour is essential. 😆

Sometimes I would cry and laugh at the same time when I stubbed my toe. It’s about allowing yourself to see the funny side of life, even you’re in pain. 

24. 😢If you are crying in your job, it’s not a good sign

My friend, if you’re feeling the urge to cry or actually crying at work, that’s not the job for you. I have been there and done that. I should’ve looked for a new job before I get to that breaking point. 

25. Faith is important ✙

I was raised in a religious family, but there was a point where I stopped and questioned beliefs. However, having faith help me overcome adversity in life so I want to keep growing in faith.

So Great you are still here! Well, Thank you so much for your time ☺ hope you enjoyed reading this list. If any of the points spoke to you, feel free to leave a comment below and share it with the rest of us. Hope you have a good rest of the week and I wish you all the best.