A Decade Later
Kia Ora, Kaja nga ai I, Mingalar Bar and Good to see you here
Hope your new year is filled with joy and peace.
Today I want to share my story about coming to Aotea Roa/ New Zealand as a refugee ten years ago today.
Warning: This story does not represent every refugee who comes to New Zealand because their experiences differ from mine in many aspects. Please read it with a grain of salt 😉 .
My story began when I left my hometown, Kachin State, in Myanmar/Burma due to political instability and internal conflicts. After registering as a refugee at United Nations High Commission for Refugees in Malaysia, it took almost 4 years until I could reunite with my family in NZ, who also came to NZ as a refugee.
I really could not believe it was really happening. I was so excited yet nervous because I was a little sixteen-year-old girl with big hopes and dreams for the future in the new country that I knew so little about. I flew from Malaysia for 12 hours with other refugees and landed at Auckland airport around three in the morning. Everything was pitched black and cold. We were all jet-lagged and exhausted, but we just followed the person who instructed us to get on the bus, which took us straight to Mangere Refugee Resettlement Centre.
Me and my classmates with our teacher at Mangere Refugee Resettlement Centre
I was escorted to a room with two single beds. I went straight to bed and woke up the next morning in a nice and quiet room. I really thought I was dreaming, so I closed my eyes for a while and opened it back to see if this was real or just another one of my dreams. I went to the
bathroom and tried to shower, but I could not figure out how to turn the tap to warm, so the water felt freezing cold. It was probably the shortest shower I have ever taken. I did not bring any warm clothes either because I did not know NZ would be this cold. Mind you, it was summertime too. I missed Malaysia’s tropical weather so much.
Everything was still a blur for a couple of weeks. I know we had to stay in the centre for another six weeks to learn more about the people, the culture, language, and customs of New Zealand. I remember the first time I experienced Maori Tradition in a Pōwhiri (welcome ceremonies) and Maori Haka. I had goosebumps all over my body. It was something that I had never seen and something so special and strangely beautiful.
After a few days in the centre, other refugees also arrived from Thailand, Nepal, Africa, Syria, and Afghanistan. The centre was filled with so many races and got a tad bit loud compared to the first night when I arrived. There were babies and children running around and young people playing basketball in the courtyard. I met a girl who is almost the same age as me. She and her family arrived from Thailand the day after I landed. We immediately became friends and we still are until today. Cheers to 10 years of friendship Yamone <3
Left : Yamone | Right: Me
We had classes during the daytime, divided by age group, and we were allowed to catch up with our own things in the evening. We were not allowed to go out without permission from the office, so we stayed inside mostly and passed our time. I was slowly getting to know my new friend and we were inseparable. We walked around the blocks and played the old piano in the laundry room. We shared our experiences, and we both missed our friends whom we left behind. We realized we also shared a love for food. We were always the first ones to queue in line at mealtimes. Although most Kiwi food was still strange to most Burmese people, we just enjoyed having our meals.
We also like learning new things in class. We were taught a few Maori words and songs on Ukulele. I had never seen a ukulele before, so I was so drawn to that little guitar looking instrument. I remember I sang louder than everyone else. Our kiwi teacher was a lovely kiwi Lady. She asked the whole class to guess her age and left us flabbergasted when she told me her real age 😮. We did not know how people in NZ could look different compared to our people. She showed us pictures of NZ school uniforms and took us to a real high school for a day trip. I just could not wait to wear those uniforms and go to school. We also visited other iconic places, such as the Auckland Museum and Mission Bay Beach.
I was deprived of education and being a normal teenager for a few years. I mostly just tried to survive in Malaysia by working in restaurants as an illegal immigrant. I went to a Non-government Organisation (NGO) school in my last year in Malaysia, where I learned English and other subjects. The school was my haven for a period. I constantly thought about escaping somewhere else, but help was unreachable.
When my dreams became a reality, nothing stopped me from achieving my dreams. For the first 5 years, I battled with identity issues and unresolved emotional baggage. I did not know how to address them and unpack everything that scarred me while living in Malaysia. Instead, I put all my energies and focus into my studies because I wanted to catch up and make up for the years I did not have a chance to go to school. I slowly accepted my reality and learned who I am as a person. That was one of the most painful processes I had ever gone through.
So, I always liked an analogy of a tree being transplanted. Imagine you are a plant or a tree in a beautiful land. One day the tree was hit by a big storm/Tornado, so it was uprooted from its place. Some tree branches were damaged, and other parts of the tree were damaged here and there. One day, the tree was being transplanted in a new plot, but it took about a few years to recover from the shock and adjust to the new soil and environment until it fully flourished again.
Do I feel like I am fully flourished and feel accomplished today? Yes and No. The last 10 years taught me many valuable lessons and made me the person I am today, and I still have many goals that I still would like to achieve someday (the “not doing enough” syndrome, but that’s another topic). I am very grateful for the people I met in the last 10 years who helped me become myself. I am grateful for the opportunities and the freedom to pursue my goal and keep my faith.
The question now arises: Am I a kiwi now, and who am I?
I am an independent citizen of New Zealand who can contribute to the communities. More importantly, I greatly value all the experiences (both good and bad) and the lessons that make me a unique individual. So, I guess you could say I am a Kiwi, Kachin, and a former refugee.
I really would like to say Thank you to everyone who gave me the supports, inspiration, guidance, friendship, and thank you for remembering me in your prayers.
If I looked back at a 16-year-old self today, I would say:
“You are enough.”
“Please be patient with yourself and be your best friend.”
“You will get there when you are meant to get there and not one moment sooner.”
"Don't let your past define your future"
******Kachin Translation Coming Soon******
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